Percy gets addicted to Teletubbies
by squidward's nose
Summary: Title says it all.
1. Percy Gets Possessed

"Hazel! Get over here! I need your help distracting those mortals!" ordered Percy.  
>"What mortals?" said Hazel. Percy pulled her into a pure white room with a clean, plain, white bed<br>"Haha...just kidding. I brought you here for a reason..."  
>"Oh my..."<br>"...To play with my Teletubby action figures, of course!"  
>"Percy, for the last time, Teletubbies are super creepy spawns of Tartarus meant to brainwash little children."<br>"They're super cute! look at their tummy-vision!" Percy shoved his Tinky Winky action figure in Hazel's face. That purple monkey-faced demon had a TV implanted in its stomach, which made Hazel shudder. Percy pushed a button on its hand. Tinky Winky's tummy-vision turned on. All the Teletubbies were standing side by side in tummy-vision. "Tinky Winky says: 'die!'".

Hazel screamed in horror. It looked like Percy had been brainwashed. She ran towards the door and slammed it with her fists. Wait...the door had no knob? This was worse than she thought.

"Get over here! Only for five minutes!"  
>"NO! AAAAAAAAH!"<p>

Percy grabbed Hazel by the wrists and carried her to the bed. His eyes were glowing red and the Teletubby action figures came to life with demonic giggles.

"If you don't accept my fellow Teletubbies, you will have to die. Teletubby bye bye!"

Hazel has had enough. She pulled out her sword and stabbed Percy to death, staining the bed bright red. The glow in Percy's eyes faded, and the action figures died along with him.

Hazel escaped by cutting the entire building trying to find her way back to the ship.

"What took so long with stealing pillows from that hotel?" Asked Frank.

Hazel collapsed from the horrible flashback. She couldn't stop thinking about Teletubbies.


	2. Everyone dies

"What's up, Hazel?" asked Frank.

"SdhrkghshdrjgfgHJSGGjkd," said Hazel, but that wasn't a reply. "Stinky Winky, Diaper, AAH AAH, Poo," she whispered, in shock.

"What's wrong? Where's Percy?" wondered Frank.

"I KILLED PERCY BECAUSE HE WAS POSSESSED," screamed Hazel.

"By what?"

"By Teletubbies!"

Frank stood there, shocked. He just remembered that his grandmother warned him about the Teletubbies.

"His action figures are still there. Leo, start the ship! Those action figures might come back!" ordered Hazel.

"Okey Dokey," replied Leo, brainlessly. The ship was still in water. This was bad. Poseidon will be very, very mad at Hazel for killing Percy.

"Get the ship in the air right now! Poseidon's mad!"

"Okay. lelelellelel," said Leo while french kissing Festus.

"O noes thei got auai," said Poseidon. Everyone on board cheered.

Half an hour later, there was an airplane in sight with scientists on board.

"Yep, that's a pigeon alright," said a scientist on the plane.

"Hazel, use your the Mist to hide the ship," said Jason.

"Right," thought Hazel nervously. She was still thinking about Teletubbies. All of the scientists on the plane screamed.

"That ain't no pigeon. It's a Teletubby!" said a scientist. Hazels made the ship look like a teletubby by accident. The pilot screamed and jumped out without a parachute. Everyone else on board did the same. There was also tons of chaos down below. Mortals and even monsters were killing themselves. The Teletubby was so big that everyone in the world killed themselves. Even the gods.

**THE END **


	3. I decide to continue the story

**I got bored (as usual) and decided to continue the story**.

* * *

><p>*French narrator's voice* 10 000 years later.<p>

The gods have finally respawned, only to find a completely empty universe. No life, no matter, nothing. they wanted pick on some mortals and get demigods to do their dirty work again. Zeus looked at his brand new PC that came back along with him. He searched for all of the god's documents and saved them, recreating the universe and everything that was in it before. There were only a few documents left: Poseidon's. He wondered if he saved them before all of the gods died. Poseidon was like a spoiled kid! In the beginning, he begged Zeus to fight for the sea just because it was the biggest. How was he the second most powerful Olympian?

"Poseidon, did you remember to save 'Poseidon's stuff - no touch!1!1!.docx'?" Poseidon blankly stared at Zeus. "Ya!" he exclaimed. "Good boy!" said Zeus, as he tossed his favorite snack, a rotten fishy cracker to him. "Lemme make!" he ran to Zeus, grabbed his computer, and turned it into a Mac. He saved his document again, and the oceans were recreated.

They both decided looked down to earth and saw life continuing as usual. Zeus spotted Leo's ship and remembered that they were still running away from Poseidon. A moment later, Poseidon remembered that Percy was dead. "GWAAAAAAAAAAAAH! PERCY DED!" he screamed. He tried to summon a hurricane on the demigods, but Zeus pinned him down. "Have a chill pill," he suggested as he handed Poseidon laxatives disguised as a tic ta. "CHILL PIL YUCK!" shouted Poseidon in a more aggressive manner than usual, even to Zeus. He shucked the tic tac at Zeus' 'secret' container of weed, breaking it. "If you kill them, there will be no chance in defeating the Teletubbies," stated Zeus. Poseidon just continued screaming, as he probably didn't understand a thing. Zeus didn't want to deal with his childish behavior any longer. He shoved tampons deep into Poseidon's mouth and nose so he couldn't breath. That would distract him for a while.

By then, the demigods were high up in the sky, in Zeus' realm. Poseidon wouldn't have a slight chance in harming them even if he managed to take the tampons out in the next few seconds.

Poseidon vomited and made it come out of his nose as well to shoot the tampons out. They shot Zeus' eyes. "OW!" screamed Zeus as he stumbled back with traces of Poseidon's stomach acid in his eyes. "Fite!" demanded Poseidon.


	4. The Fight

Zeus and Poseidon prepared their weapons to fight. Zeus wanted to open the battlefield and fight somewhere other than beautiful Olympus, but Poseidon was too pissed off to care, so he immediately chucked his trident at Zeus. Zeus managed to dodge it, but the trident got stuck in his throne and started to shoot salt water straight into his eyes. It was only enough to stun him, of course, since he was more powerful than all of the gods combined.

Before the fight could continue any longer, Hera came. She saw the trident stuck in Zeus' throne, Zeus getting ready to attack, and her little brother Poseidon screaming like a baby. Poseidon spotted her faster than Zeus.

"SISSY OUT!" screamed Poseidon. Poseidon and Hera had a very strange relationship...it was what mortals called 'sibling rivalry'. 10,500 years ago, Hera stirred the oceans with a wooden spoon to make him angry, and most importantly, because it was fun. She also put gold paint on his underpants to make him think that he was starting his godly man-period. Poseidon had been planning revenge for hundreds of years, but his blueprints (drawn in crayon) were always on his throne in plain sight, so Hera countered them easily every single time. Now was the golden opportunity to get revenge.

He lunged at her and reached for her dress, and ripped the bottom part off. Hera ran off screaming. Zeus suddenly zapped Poseidon's bum with a lightning bolt. It wasn't like he would fall unconscious, it was more like a god-sized spanking. Poseidon tried to run to Zeus' throne to retrieve his trident, but Zeus found the laxatives that he tried to give him earlier and shoved the entire pack into his mouth. Poseidon ran to his own throne and sat down. It flipped upside-down and went into the ground. "I wonder what he did to Hephaestus to make him modify his throne like that," Zeus mumbled to himself.

"Honey, did you recreate the Teletubbies again?" asked Hera from behind her throne. Zeus checked, and he sure did.

"Crap."

Poseidon's throne flipped around again, and Poseidon (now with empty intestines) was on it with a piece of toilet paper stuck to his foot. He rose and unleashed an earthquake underneath Zeus. He lost his footing and fell. However, he simply teleported back up. "THAT'S ENOUGH, BROTHER," he said, his voice filled with rage and authority. He had no choice: he had to use the forbidden attack. He started dancing around, and began singing.

_I'm just a kid who's four, each day I grow some more, I like exploring I'm Caillou!_

_So many things to do, each day is something new, I'll share them with you I'm Caillou!_

_My world is turning, changing each day..with mommy and daddy and finding my way!_

_Growing up is not so tough, except when I've had enough but there's lots of fun stuff I'm Caillou, Caillou, Caillou, I'm Caillou! That's me!_

As much as it disgusted him, it had to be done.

Cracks appeared in the ground and opened up, revealing a dimension filled with nothing but inferno. A horrifying demon rose out of the cracks. It was the demon that other demons feared greatly...it's name was...you guessed it..._DORA._

"Vámonos, amigos!" she said in a demonic voice. She grabbed Poseidon's nose and returned to hell along with Poseidon.

"He'll be fine," Zeus assured himself.

He pulled Poseidon's trident out of his throne and threw it on the ground.

He sent an Iris message to the demigods. "This is an emergency. I accidentally recreated the Teletubbies, if you remember them, and they are now trying to find you. They must be defeated!" The Teletubbies were approximately 5 times worse than Dora.


End file.
